


Road Rage

by cherrypinup



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Comedy, F/F, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-28
Updated: 2016-10-28
Packaged: 2018-08-27 11:06:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8399344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherrypinup/pseuds/cherrypinup
Summary: Spike and Xander sort things out with a grope then some smoochies and Tara's pissed (not drunk).Originally posted on 12-02-2002Pretty version here: Road Rage





	

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: There may be a spew factor. There was for me while writing it so I guess it's how easily you're amused

The day just gets better and better. Willow's mad at me. No. That's an understatement. If she was just mad, we'd have talked and things would be fine. She hasn't spoken to me for almost two days. She actually slept at her parent's house last night and I'm not sure she'll be coming back to the dorm with me tonight. She was actually shaking and I swear her eyes were turning black during the argument. There wasn't much else for me to do, though. 

How was I supposed to know the spell she was working on was so important? I only interrupted her so many times because it sounded too dangerous and I was worried. Knowing her history with magic, I like to be informed about what she's doing and why. That way, maybe, I can talk her out of some of the more dangerous spells. 

The fury she turned on me made me very afraid and I think that may be why she's staying away. I'm just hoping she does come back. Eventually.

* * *

"Come on, you brainless stooge! I am so gonna kick your...Oh, shit!" Xander turned his head to look at who...what had lifted him off the ground, where he'd been fighting off a slow minion. 

"Gah!" Was all that would come out. The thing that was attached to the arm currently suspending him about four feet off the ground looked like a...a dino-vamp? A were-dino-vamp? Big fangs dripping saliva hung down. The thing, that had never been human, was in vamp gameface and scarier than anything he'd ever had this close. Even Anya, leaving in a rage the day after hearing him talk in his sleep, had nothing on this. 

He had about three seconds to contemplate his fate before the thing disappeared in a cloud of dust and he was dropped, unceremoniously, on his ass. 

"Ouch! Thanks Buff...uh Spike. Thanks." He looked up at the vampire that had saved him and was surprised by the look on Spike's face. Man, he looked almost concerned. Let's test that theory. 

"Oh, god. Did it bite me? I thought I felt fangs on my neck! Shit! I can't feel my legs!" Wow. Never saw anyone move that fast before. Guess he was concerned. Wow, he's checking me over everywhere and... 

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! No damage there, buddy!" 

Spike stopped what he was doing and sat back on his feet. He'd honestly been scared for the boy but could admit he'd gone a bit overboard. "Uh, just, ya know, checking and...we should be getting back." 

As Spike was speaking he monitored Xander's reactions. When the whelp raised his hand Spike's own arm flew up to deflect the expected blow. Only, it wasn't hard enough for that. He looked back at Xander before dropping his arm. He flinched, slightly, when the warm hand met his cheek, then sat staring at the other man while his face was caressed. 

They sat staring at each other before leaning in. 

"Xander? Where are you?" Came from the other side of the lot they'd been fighting in and both men jumped back before their lips ever connected. 

"Over here, Buff." Xander responded while climbing to his feet. Once there, he held out his hand to help the dumbfounded vampire up. 

"This isn't over." A pair of blue eyes widened with disbelief.

* * *

Well, Willow's here and we've even made eye contact a couple of times. That's good, right? She can't be too angry. Buffy did tell her to call me for the meeting, right? I mean, why else would I still be invited here when it's starting to feel like it's over? It's not like I have anything to add about these new creatures. I wasn't even on patrol tonight. 

Oh, great. I see. Now I'm just the driver. Giles doesn't trust Spike with his car, not that I blame him, and the vampire's car is nowhere to be seen. I understand that he's the one with a connection and information, just why does it have to be me? At least Xander's coming along to keep an eye on him. He'll be good company. He's always been nice to me.

* * *

Great. The significant looks and whispering going on before we left the shop should have clued me in to something. Jeez. It's like I'm invisible up here and I haven't even started the car. As soon as we got to the doors, they both climbed in to the back seat. Xander spared me a shy smile before asking if I minded. No. Of course not. Why would I mind? 

So, I'm just going to collect myself before even getting moving. Not like the two in the back seat would notice. They're cuddled close together, whispering. It seems very...intimate. It makes my chest ache and my blood pressure rise. Okay. Deep breaths. 

What the hell? Dale, the guy that runs the shop next door, needs to learn to use a rear-view mirror! He just almost backed in to me. I haven't even taken the car out of park and I just know this trip's going to be hell. 

Okay. Just turn out into the alley. I won't have to face anyone else for a few minutes 'cause we only go about 5 mph down here. Oh. My. God! Fricken Karen from down the block almost slammed in to my back end - make that Giles' back end. She must have been going at least 35. She didn't even seem to notice me as I pulled over as far as I could and she passed me. 

I'm trying to avoid looking in to the rear-view mirror. It would be very disconcerting to see Xander french-kissing the air. I know what they're doing, but I'm sure to go homicidal if I see them being all sweet and smoochy, so I'm not looking over my shoulder either. Seems like they've finally figured out what Wills and I... Not going to think about her and definitely not going to cry. 

All right. Things aren't going too bad. Good thing I don't have to get directions from these guys. They might have to stop trying to remove each other's tonsils. 

Great. A cop with sirens. I'm just going to pull over as far as I can. Unfortunately the whole street is lined with cars. Shit! What the hell?! If he was any closer, a piece of paper wouldn't have fit between us! 

All right, don't worry about it. He's gone now. Just pull back onto the street. Four-way stop and I'm here first. Stop, then go. "What the fuck!" Oops. Did I yell that out loud? I must have, 'cause the light petting going on in the back seat has stopped and I can see a pair of huge, brown eyes staring at me in the mirror. I'm sure the other pair are just as round. 

"Some guy just ran a stop sign and I almost ran in to him. Don't let me interrupt." That last was sarcastic but it doesn't seem to bother them. They're swapping spit before I can take my next breath. Ya know? I wish I didn't have to be driving. It would be very arousing to watch them. Maybe Willow and I can conv... "Stop it. Stop it! Oh, sorry. Not you guys. Just talking to myself." Spike shrugs and leans back in. Xander takes a moment to study me before being distracted. I turn back around and start driving again.

* * *

Things are going pretty well, at least as far as driving goes. There were no more incidents in the last 15 minutes. Well, nothing other than the basic rudeness I usually encounter for driving the posted speed limit. 

The boys in the back, however, are making me think too much. All that moaning is making my blood boil and I know I just heard a zipper being lowered. I'm not going to look. It's not fair though. If I'm not getting any, why should they be allowed to right in front of, well behind me. Hey! Where'd Xander... never mind. I know, but I don't want to think about it. 

Jeez. This light is taking forever! Oh, good. It changed. Except now the chick in front of me isn't moving. "Hey! What shade of GREEN are you waiting for? MOVE IT!" I yell. No response. "Vertical petal on the right." I scream while laying on the horn. 

Well. That got the attention of the guys in the back seat. "Hope I didn't interrupt anything." Yup. Now they're getting the sarcasm. Xander looks contrite while Spike looks a baffled and not a little put out. When I turn back around from looking over my shoulder I barely miss being hit by another person running a stop sign. 

I pull over for a second of slamming my hands on the steering wheel, before pulling back out on to the street. Xander must really be worried 'cause he's left his new boyfriend hanging and climbed over the seat. 

Spike leans forward between the seats, just to annoy me. "Where did you get your driver's license? A Cracker Jack box?" he asks, before ducking the daggers I glare at him. Xander lays his hand gently on Spike's arm before nodding to him to sit back. 

The action makes the lump in my throat grow to amazing proportions. I'm afraid I won't be able to breathe soon. 

I slam on the gas and we're all plastered to the seats for a moment before both men grab the chicken bars above the doors. Wow. I didn't think Giles' car could actually go this fast! It feels good. Kind of like I'm channeling the aggression into the car. Like it's running off of me rather than gas. 

Damn it! I knew it wouldn't last. "Fuck! How slow is this idiot going, two miles an hour?" Xander is looking a little pale and I think that was a whimper from the back seat. Good. They helped me get into this mood. At least I can get my own back on them. 

I lean my head out the window and yell at the top of my lungs. "Lead, follow or get the HELL out of my way!" Ooo. Looks like she heard that. Little old gramma is pulling over and making way. 

"Touch the steering wheel one more time and I'll break your hand!" Xander snaps back to his side of the car so fast that I think he slapped himself. It's not like I meant to swerve onto the opposite shoulder. 

"Um...Tara?" Wow, was that Spike? I glance in the back and he's actually shaking and the look on his face says he's terrified. 

"What?" I snap over the roar of the wind coming in my window. 

He looks to Xander who gives him a small shake then quick nod of his head. "I, I… The next right. Take the next right and it's the first building on the left." He says. Then in a smaller voice, "Okay?" 

I nod my head. Xander gives a little girly scream that cuts off as he clamps his mouth shut, when we round the corner. All too quickly we're there. I know I left rubber in the parking lot when I slammed on the breaks but at this point, I don't care. I slam the door as I get out, then scream at the top of my lungs while sticking both my middle fingers up at the world in general. I finally stop when I get dizzy. 

I feel a warm hand on my shoulder. I'm shaking and can't seem to get my breath back. Then I'm being embraced on both sides. 

"Better now, pet?" 

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm all right. Sorry guys." 

"S'okay. Next time you feel suicidal, think you might clue us in? You almost got my heart beating." 

That produces a giggle from both Xander and me. After a deep breath, I really do feel better and look up at him. I say thanks then nod my head. They both let go and for a moment I feel a loss. With a shake of my head, I turn over the keys to Xander and start walking towards the building. 

"We're lucky no one got a muffler full of toads." I hear mock-whispered from behind me. I just turn and wink which leaves them both with stunned, then curious expressions.

* * *

Good news. It turns out that creature Xander ran in to tonight was a one-of-a-kind. Seems someone got an idea from Professor Walsh, only that someone was a demon and has since gone to his own fate. Guess we made this trip for nothing. Well, not nothing. Spike and Xander worked some 'things' out and are now feeling all 'Dear Abby'. On the ride home they were able to give me some insight in to what's been going on with Willow. 

She apparently needs to work through some issues, but I'm not letting her do it alone. Time to pull out that backbone of steel I know I was born with, and try it on for size. She's not going to know what hit her.

**Author's Note:**

> This was a challenge issued by BB, who was having a tough time fighting off Road Rage. The challenge requirements are:
> 
> SOMEONE has road rage...(yes we have established that I myself am on the verge of it...we are talking about a character!)
> 
> It has to be someone OTHER than Spike. Spike is too obvious a choice!  
> Think, Xander, Willow or Tara...if for no other reason because of shock  
> value when Spike climbs into the vehicle of doom.  
> A real bad day...
> 
> comments I would like to see.
> 
> "What shade of GREEN are you waiting for? MOVE IT!"  
> "Where did you get your driver's license? A cracker jack box?"  
> "Touch the steering wheel one more time I'll break your hand!"  
> "Lead, follow or get the HELL out of my way!"
> 
> this stuff can either be yelled out the window or at a passender depending on the comment. (the hand thing I'm thinking about there.) OR as a passenger to the person driving or outside of the car. (passengers can get road rage too...I've seen it, I've experienced it...)  
> someone must fear for their life as a passenger! Someone gets flipped the bird.  
> I think that about covers it.
> 
> * * *
> 
> Come find me at [Dark Side of Fixtion](http://darksideoffixtion.tumblr.com/).


End file.
